This verse is dedicated to all club secretaries
who have coped with the problem of low attendance.
Pity the club secretary sitting all alone,
Go is meant for two; you cannot play it on your own.
"I had a lot of work to do."
"I think I've got a touch of 'flu."
"There's squash on channel 22."
"We all would certainly have come, if only we had known".
Pity the club secretary putting out the sets.
Will there be two, or four, or six tonight? He'll take no bets.
"I couldn't get along last week."
"My radiator sprang a leak."
"I went to hear John Prescott speak."
But rooms cost rent, and even good excuses pay no debts.
Pity the club secretary's long hours of despair.
Yet still he hopes and wonders, but can only sit and stare.
"Where are they all? I couldn't guess.
This club is just a hopeless mess.
Shall I resign, and take up chess?"
But no, however much you let him down, next week, he's there!